Posted in parenting, Uncategorized

The Terrible Twos

I’m not one for clichés. I do not adhere to stereotyping. But. You know what? Sometimes, the cap just fits.

We are most definitely well into the ‘terrible twos’, in fact, I’m reasonably sure that the phrase was coined specifically for my 2.5 year old.

You’ve probably seen this meme doing the rounds:


Well this here pretty much sums up my life.

If it is quiet in my house for more than 1.47 minutes then someone asks the inevitable and foreboding question……..”where is she?”

Now. Going on recent evidence there are a few places she could be and a few pastimes she could be keeping busy with.

She could be:

  • Very busy ‘organising’ my purse. This translates to rehoming each and every bank card/loyalty card/piece of ID/ into new locations throughout the house. Well, who doesn’t love a treasure hunt before every trip to the village shop?
  • Very busy ‘doing her hair’. In the last two weeks she has ‘done her hair’ with almost an entire tub of Vaseline, and when this didn’t create the desired effect she moved onward and upward to Sudocreme. If any shampoo developers are reading this then you really need to up your game, Your product may smell nice but remove petroleum jelly it does not.
  • Very busy ‘eating purple jelly’. Er that looks suspiciously like the inside of the bathroom air freshener. Swiftly moving on….
  • Very busy ‘knitting’. Technically what she was doing could be called ‘uncrocheting’, I much preferred the huge pile of wool when it was in the form of Froo’s winter hat.
  • Very busy ‘making breakfast’. For anyone with an interest in mathematics; the contents of a 750g box of ‘hot oat cereal’ almost exactly cover the floor of a 9x9ft kitchen floor, with just enough space for an average sized 2 year old to sit and eat dry Weetabix.
  • Very busy ‘making Mummy’s shoes purple’. Think; 2 year old, brand new nude heels, purple nail varnish…..I’ll leave the rest to your imagination.
  • Very busy ‘tidying up’. If you’ve lost something….check the bin.

That probably gives you an insight into a week of toddlerdom. It also explains why I declined the kind offer to look after the school guinea pigs…….!

Welcome to my world.




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