One of the many plus points of having a larger-than-average family is that you are forced to lower your expectations and be grateful for smaller accomplishments.
I’ve seen many times people joking about the joy of finding the bottom of the laundry basket.
Me? I do a little dance if I manage to unearth the laundry basket from under the children’s latest attempt at dirty washing Tetris.
People get all hung up on matching socks.
Me? I’m just happy if every little pair of feet is covered with two socks of any description for at least a proportion of the day. The exception, of course, being the baby who views socks as an enemy that require chewing, throwing, repeatedly pulverising and, as some sort of sinister punishment (either to the sock or to me!), removing from his feet and hiding in any available space. This is usually at other people’s houses, meaning we have quite a lot of visitors who turn up brandishing one or more baby socks. The favourite visitors are the ones who wash them before returning (see above point about laundry!)
You also have to become pretty good at having a reason (most definitely not an excuse of course) for every thing that may raise questions.
- “Isn’t this the third time this week that we’ve had pasta?”
Quick as a flash
- “Yes, the children have a very busy weekend coming up, I’m carbo-loading them….obviously”
- “You haven’t hoovered in here today?”
Quick as a flash
- “Ooh no, I was a little concerned about the baby’s eyesight so I’ve devised a test to see how far away he can spot crumbs. It’s medically recommended….probably.”
Can’t argue with that.
- “Mummy, where are our biscuits?”
Quick as a flash
- “Oh don’t tell me the grocery delivery man forgot to bring biscuits AGAIN. I shall send a strongly worded email.”
“Mummy what are you eating?”
“Hmm?? Ermmm??? Mushroom and spicy stuff, oh what a shame you don’t like mushrooms or spicy stuff and yes it is funny how they smell like biscuits. I shall send a strongly worded email.”
I’ve also decided that adulting (yes that is a real word, I’m just trying to convince autocorrect!) needs to be more rewarding.
And I think I’ve figured out the answer…….drum roll please……
Children will do anything for stickers;
- I ate all my lunch and got a sticker,
- I read my reading book and got a sticker,
- I remembered what my name was and got a sticker,
- I managed not to need an accident report form today and got a sticker (I’ll admit the last one may be specific only to my five year old who seems to spend a high percentage of his school life in ‘first aid’ with an ice pack applied to various limbs.)
So the obvious way to make adulting (ha didn’t argue that time did you autocorrect) more fun is to introduce stickers.
I shall start the ball rolling:
- Today, when I stubbed my toe the only word I said was ouch, where’s my sticker?
- I remembered to remove the washing from the machine before a ‘refresh’ cycle (or 3) was required, where’s my sticker?
- I took on board the famous words from Bambi and chose the ‘say nothing at all’ option, where’s my sticker?
- I asked nicely for cooperation in a Mary Poppins voice at least 7 times before resorting to the Miss Trunchibald persona, where’s my sticker?
I’m sure you will agree that this is definitely the way forward, maybe even with a reward issued for collecting so many stickers. You know, just something simple; like maybe going to the bathroom by yourself, or managing a whole meal without someone needing to sample your meal (of exactly the same food as them.)
You’re right, we should probably be more realistic. After all a three legged, rainbow striped, bilingual unicorn wearing a beret would probably be more attainable.
We’ll call it a work in progress for now…………….but if I happen to flick the telly on and find someone pitching stickers on Dragon’s Den, especially if I hear the word ‘adulting’ (ha it’s in my phone’s dictionary now.) I shall be expecting a cut of the profits!
Welcome to my world.